I think one reason I can talk about something that may invite stares is that people stare at me anyway. I live life in a wheelchair and that in itself is a magnet for stares and comments. I think I'm mostly immune to them. And, although I don't really want people staring at my chest, I'm not sure I can really decipher why they are staring. That is, until they open their mouths to let their ignorance shine through and make it pretty verbally clear why they are staring. I'll just have to expand my arsenal of clever come backs to include some breast cancer related. I'm just going to have to get a bit quicker thinking of a come back. For example, while shopping the other day I was looking at hats/scarves, etc. if needed in the future. Another customer was also in that section and told the friend he was with "You only wear a Fedora if you're stupid." It took me too long to figure out my comeback. I wanted to say, "Or if you have cancer." But, I didn't think of it in time and he wasn't talking to me anyway. So, it's probably a good thing I thought of it too late. I've learned that unless I'm directly addressed, ignoring ignorant comments is the best choice.
So, what makes me a woman? Do my breasts make me a woman? I know the answer to that is "No." I know that with or without breasts, I am still a woman. I am still myself. I am still the same person. I should know that changes to your physical body don't change who you are inside, but that doesn't mean I'm automatically comfortable with the changes coming. Although I did say the other day, "I already have a ton of scars, what's a few more???" I don't have the answer to that question. I don't know why this bothers me. Reconstruction or no reconstruction my body will be forever changed. What I don't want is what I learned about on the Tonight Show, "The Dad Bod." :) I am not a dad and I am not comfortable looking like one. I also have no desire to look like E.T. (If you don't know what a Dad Bod is, Goggle it)