I Don't Have Time for This

I don't have time for this.  I've been saying that since my diagnosis, but that really came home today.  When I received my diagnosis last week, the first thought I had was about how full my schedule already is.  I don't have time to add anything new.  Although the waiting period was more stressful than I would like to admit, I was glad I had no extra cancer related appointments until today.  I already had a very full calendar last week that I was not looking forward to adjusting.  And, my son had a very important event over the weekend that I did not want to miss.  I was so thankful I didn't have to choose.

Well, I had readjusted my schedule for this week to add an appointment with the breast care center/surgeon and an appointment with the oncologist.  I tried to work a couple of appointments into my already full schedule of kid's medical appointments, online school schedule, eye appointments, kid's social activities, church, track practice, teaching piano lessons, etc.  I thought I had it all worked out so that everything could happen and my husband could even attend my appointments without taking too much extra time off work.  Then, today arrives.

In case you didn't know, I don't handle change all that well.  So, when I arrived at my appointment at the breast care center only to find out someone somewhere had messed up and my appointment was not really scheduled until tomorrow and later in the afternoon and with a DIFFERENT DOCTOR I was a little upset.  My carefully balanced schedule came crashing down around my shoulders.  I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!!!  The nurse at the breast cancer center was able to talk to me about my diagnosis, let me have a copy of my report, and work some magic so that my appointment with the doctor is still tomorrow, but at least now it's early enough my husband can attend the appointment with me without missing work.  My crazily balanced schedule is precariously teetering, but still hanging in there.  We'll see what happens to it tomorrow when we get more answers and hopefully schedule surgery.

For those of you out there waiting to hear the next step, there it is.  I will be having surgery.  Exactly what type I'll know more about tomorrow.  Right now, I do know I have been diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Well Differentiated, Nottingham Grade I/III, Nottingham Histological Score is: (Tuble Formation-2, Nuclear Pleomorphism-2, Mitotic Figures-1)  My results came back that the cancer is also very hormone reactive to both estrogen and progesterone.  So, tomorrow I will learn more about what exactly that means.  I think the next step will be surgery and any additional treatment will not be decided until after the results from surgery are back.  So, I'll keep you updated as I know more.

What did I learn today?  I learned that having some answers does make it much easier to deal with what is.  I have always said that I can deal with whatever as long as I know what I need to do.  I've learned that is true.  I learned that I want to face this aggressively so I can hopefully deal with it once and not have to revisit cancer treatment every few years.  I also learned that in the future I will handle my own scheduling or at least double check before I head to appointments.  :)

Thankful thoughts for today:
Great kyphosis appointment for daughter
Appointment found early
Beginning of answers
Excellent reports about surgeon


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