Wednesday, May 27, 2015

I Think I'd Like to Become a Hermit

I started this post at the beginning of this journey, but it is still very true today.  I want to cover my head with my blanket and never venture out of my house.  I think if I can just avoid the world, I will avoid stress and never have to deal with reality.

When school was still in session, it was easier to get out of bed.  I had a job to do and could remain focused on being the learning coach and helping my kiddos finish out the year strong.  I had a valid excuse to tell people "no" or that I was too busy or just not answer my phone.  Well, school is over and surgery is not happening yet, so I suddenly have time.

Time for what?   I haven't figure that out.  I don't want it to be time for arranging home modifications, insurance adjusters, etc.  Part of me wants to have time to go places and enjoy being outside of my house while I still can.  I've always been more of an introvert and preferred reading and staying home to being out there partying and interacting with others.  But, I also like having the choice to do that, not having it forced upon me.  And, I see the day coming when I do not have that choice.  Aren't I supposed to want to be out there enjoying the fresh air and the company of others?  Well, guess what?  I don't really want to.  I'd rather be curled up with a book or hiding under my covers.  I don't want to be a responsible adult and take care of adult responsibilities.  I don't want to plan ahead and try to make sure everything is taken care of in the foreseeable future.  I don't want to.

But, I do it anyway.  Why?  Because I'd like to at least pretend that I'm a responsible adult.  I'd like to keep things as normal as possible around here as long as I can.  But, part of me would like to just crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head and let someone else be the responsible adult for awhile.

Thankful thoughts for today:
Insurance adjusters
Getting bids on home maintenance modifications

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1 comment:

  1. Me tooooooooo! Some days I do (like today), and that is perfectly okay! You've got this girl. Be true to yourself and do the things that make you the happiest!


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