Monday, June 8, 2015

Ready to Get Back to My New Normal

I never thought I would be saying this, but I am ready to get back to my new normal.  I am ready for life to be focused on cancer again.  Well, actually, I would much prefer it didn't have to be focused on cancer at all, but if I have to choose either focusing on my cancer or dealing with hospital trips, seizures, surgery, and recovery for my child, I'll choose cancer for myself every time.

This last week is one I hope to never have to repeat.  I know there are difficult days in my near future, but I also know they will be nothing compared to what I experienced this week.  They will not be as difficult because I, myself, will be the one experiencing the difficulty.  I will not be helplessly sitting and watching my child suffer.  I've found it's much harder for me to surrender the future to God when it is my child we're talking about.  I've found it is so much easier to fall into the pattern of asking "Why?" and "What if" when it is my child and not myself.

So, although I got a mini break from focusing on cancer, I'm ready to get back to it.  I'm ready for the focus to be on that and not have to be on other medical emergencies for those around me.  I told my son I didn't need a front runner.  I can handle injection of dye, surgery, recovery, etc. all on my own without having to watch him go through it first.  Hopefully, he is on the uphill swing and on his way to full recovery.

Now, it is my turn.  So, here we go.  I can handle whatever is coming my way.
My new shirt to help me through this!

Thankful thoughts for today:
Not fighting treatment decisions
Safe trip to camp

"But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children."
                                                                    Matthew 19:14

1 comment:

  1. I would be the same way. Peace and prayers to you and your family. Love you all!


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