Thursday, August 6, 2015

The Waiting is Over . . . Or Is It?

The waiting is over.  Well, maybe not completely, but there will be a ton of activity coming up and it feels like the waiting is over and things are finally in motion.  I have at least one cancer related appointment every week this month.

I started this post at the beginning of August thinking the waiting phase was over.  Well, I was WRONG!  I have a plan in place.  I have appointments scheduled for every week this month.  I went to my first one today to learn that the waiting is not over.  You would think your oncologist could make decisions about treatment and once the plan was in place that would be the end of it.  WRONG!!!  I am waiting yet once again, this time because insurance has not yet approved the plan.  They tell me at the office that it's just a matter of paperwork and timing, but my procedure will not be paid for by insurance unless pre-approved.  They have no doubt it will be approved, but it has not been yet.  Why can't the oncologist make a decision based on his years of experience and education and insurance accept that he has made the right decision and pay for it no matter where the paperwork trail got delayed?  This shouldn't surprise me.  I've been jumping through these hoops with my wheelchair related needs (including the chair itself) for years now.  Somehow, I just thought cancer treatment would be a different story.

The waiting is over for one thing--side effects.  Some I understand.  Some are surgery related.  Some I don't quite get.  Then my husband gently reminds me that I already have nerve damage and a traumatic brain injury.  I may have a more difficult time than most determining what is a side effect of cancer treatment and what is a normal part of my disability.  I already have tingling/numbness on the entire right side of my body.  I already get headaches off and on.  But, waking up nauseated is new.  And, I don't understand.  I don't have any new chemicals in my body at this point.  But, at least the waiting for side effects is over.  I just hope a ton of new ones don't appear.

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting.  Waiting drives me crazy.  Just thought I would vent for a minute.

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